”Bruno squinted at me. “Because of the girls? We were just having a good time!”“Chill, Matt,” Carl dismissed. “We’re fine.”“Yeah,” Bruno agreed. “Besides, it’s just an audition for a little school show. No big deal.”I looked at Pete, but he just shrugged.“Well, I don’t want to suck,” I said simply.Carl eyed me. “You seem pretty serious on this all of a sudden.”“I really want to play the show in December.”“Is your girl coming up? Is that why?”I shook my head. “I don’t know if she is. It’s not that. I just want to sound good, you know?”“You guys are decent,” Brian offered. “I’m sure you’ll get in. Just pick a good song.”The conversation turned elsewhere, so I gave up. I wondered if I was the only one being serious about the band.For my Initials project, I’d photographed five different scenes spread over two rolls of film. But I was also growing less convinced about my first set from the bathroom. My other shots had some element of a couple, whether overtly like Pete and Lara’s walking. IM SURE YOU DONT WANT TO DO THAT.But I did. I shed the pajama shirt and pants I had already changed into, and sat on the edge of the tub. I closed my eyes. Waited. Opened them. He hadn't moved. He was completely frozen.He wrote on the wall, WE HAVENT DONE THIS IN FOREVER BUT YOU WANT THIS NOW??? WHEN IM LIKE THIS??So I looked him right in some of his eyes and took my panties off too. "Maybe this is what's been stopping us." I took off my socks. "It's been stopping you too. When you're like this or when you're not!" Set my glasses on the counter. "But this is just you." I stepped into the bathtub with him. On him. Sort of.I had touched him enough times before, when he was a monster. Mostly by accident, but I knew he was soft and sometimes damp. His arms were smooth, and strong. He wrapped them around me so tentatively. He was warm. I laid back and my whole body sort of floated on the surface of him, on the ceaseless motion of his body.He touched my face with a dozen fingers. He traced.
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